Hello, World!

But anyways, I have a page now that I’m calling the Writer’s Journal. Whether anything is every posted there is a mystery to me at this point, but I might as well have it.

I primarily write fanfiction and if you want to take a gander at some of my work, just look up Artemis Bloodshadow at fanfiction.net. (I’ll put a link to my page in my blogroll, if you’re interested). You can get a taste for how my writing works. Try not to read anything older than two years. They’ll be horrible and you read them at your own mental risk.

I’m looking for some prompts to get my creativity flowing again. I haven’t written in quite a long time and I really, really want to start again. So, if any suggestions pop into your heard, leave me a comment. I would appreciate it. Thanks!

I suppose I’ll start with how I’m feeling right now: pathetic. Hence the title of this post. Now, if anyone is reading this, they’re probably thinking that I’m some melodramatic idiot of a girl who doesn’t understand life (or something to that effect). But I give my word that isn’t quite the case. Everyone is entitled to moments of self-pity. It just so happens that my moments have been lasting for about a month. And of course, the source of these feelings stem from a guy. Sound familiar? XD

For some background, this boy, who I’m going to nickname Cinna (He always has a cinnamon-like smell), is in one of the martial arts clubs I’m involved with on campus. He’s someone you can’t help but like as a person, at the very least. I met him last year, when I was freshman and he was sophomore, and I’ve kind of been half-in-love with him for about a year. Have you ever met someone who makes you feel ten times better when they look at you? That’s what he does to me. I always feel like smiling when he’s around. He’s funny, nice, a total nerd like me XD, and we like the same movies and such.

Unfortunately, I know we’ll be nothing more than friends. Not that it’s a bad thing. He makes a wonderful friend. But I do want something more than that. I don’t exactly know why he doesn’t feel the way I do, but I get nothing but platonic vibes off him, false signals or no.

By the way, quick sidenote: FALSE SIGNALING IS FUCKING FRUSTRATING! Surely you all know what I’m talking about. Those strange glances you catch, where you know they’ve been looking at you. The playful expression on they’re face when you share a silent, but implicitly understood joke. Those touches that aren’t quite intimate but are certainly not platonic. Or one of my favorites: he invites you over to his dorm (where he lives by himself, no roommate at all) and you spend three or four hours there watching horror movies. And then all the formerly mentioned signals occur during such a situation as well.

Needless to say, I was confused, am confused, and probably will remain confused. Because outside of these occasional signals, he treats me like he treats any of his friends. It probably doesn’t help that I’m one of those girls who, due to interest in martials arts and video games, usually gets lumped in the “girl-who-is-one-of-the-guys” category. But still. >.<

I’m not the only one who’s noticed this signaling thing, either. People from our club, who know us both very well, have asked me if Cinna and I are dating. Hell, one of his best friends from high school has even remarked on it.

So I guess that it’s silly, but I feel kind of pathetic. I’m head-over-heels for a guy who treats me like his other martial arts buddies. I’m certainly not going to say anything to him about it since he makes a wonderful friend that I don’t want to lose, but I can’t seem to walk away from it either.

So, I suppose this is where I end with something witty, emo, or dumb phrase. Instead, I leave you with MLIA (My Life Is Avarage).

Kicks and Hugs,

Artemis